Happy Monday folks,

“The greatest problem in the world today is intolerance. Everyone is so intolerant of each other.”

- Princess Diana

Having said that…

“If each man or woman could understand that every other human life is as full of sorrows, or joys, or base temptations, of heartaches and of remorse as his own… how much kinder, how much gentler he would be.”

- William Allen White

I came across the above quotes earlier this week and sat with them a bit. I sat with them to really take in what they mean to me; my interpretations according to my understandings, which is one of my points today. Quotes mean what I want or need them to mean to justify or expand my reality, respectively. According to my definition, this intolerance that Princess Di speaks of exists because people do not have a reason nor an understanding for tolerance to have a place in their lives. Said people are quaint in their reality of self-righteousness and existence, not co-existing. I suggest that intolerance is not really the issue at play. The language that we use when approaching such universal subjects is what gets lost in the definition shuffle.

Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy the late Princess’ approach to raise an awareness that we are so unaccepting, or perhaps impatient, and it is that which brings suffering to the masses. But, what struck a nerve for me is her use of the words, problem and intolerance. They produce such a negative connotation to such an inspiring perspective. What that quote says to me is that we need to be more tolerant. We need to be more able to put up with people’s shit. No where does it say how to do such a thing. No where does it offer an opposing approach. Not only do I read negativity, but I also read subjectivity because I do not believe that everyone can relate to intolerance. To relate to intolerance we all have to experience intolerance on the same level and I’m not so sure if that fits into everyone’s reality. Ya understand? This brings me to the second quote by Mr. William Allen White. I believe, with the help of White’s words, that the greatest reality (not problem) we face is what we do not understand nor care to understand, and not intolerance. It is from that foundation that breeds tolerance or intolerance. It is from that foundation that we accept or dismiss. It is from that foundation that can lead to joy or suffering for one or many. “How much kinder, how much gentler he would be” if we took the time to understand a reality that was not our own by using such relatable life experiences (sorrow, joy, temptations, remorse) that we all share to give oneself a glimpse into another’s journey. Sure, we don’t all have to live such cliche morbid lives, but the reality is that life can be tough if we don’t make an effort to understand nor give consideration to ourselves and others. 

What quotes say is one thing for us to understand. What they don’t say and imply is a-whole-nother ballpark that’s rarely sees the limelight. 

“Silence is the language of god, all else is poor translation.”

- Rumi

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Suffering

Suffering or “pain” in a broad sense is an experience of unpleasantness and aversion associated with harm or threat of harm in an individual. Suffering is the basic element that makes up the negative valence of affective phenomena.

Let’s dissect this…

Aversion is the first word that jumps out at me and, ultimately, the only word that matters. We are so quick to deflect, hide, point fingers, or run away from the pain that causes our suffering. Why? Is it much easier to suffer from suffering or to suffer temporarily when we address our pain? 

For example, a person who wants to lose weight can choose their path of suffering: long or short term. Long term: Contain, hide, run away, blame, or makes excuses for their suffering - never addressing the true cause of their pain within themselves and their past. Short term: Admit, accept, and forgive themselves for their pain, and suffer temporarily through a battle of wants vs needs. Addressing the cause of the pain will create suffering, but we must take the perspective that the temporary pain is necessary in order to heal. This concept can be transposed to various types of suffering; the cause can be universal…

We all suffer for ourselves. We do not suffer for anyone or anything. Let that sit a little…

How we experience a situation can dictate if we suffer, when we suffer, how long we suffer, and how much we suffer because our reality (our experience) is what we perceive it to be. 

We can suffer because we are suffering.

Suffering becomes a “problem” when we become comfortable in the chaos. 

The difference will be perspective…

First one must admit that they are suffering.

Do you know why you suffer [for yourself]?

What is the cause of your suffering, not the symptoms?

What lessons can you learn from your suffering?

How do you react in situations that encourage your pain from within?

Do you take responsibility for yourself - how you experience and perceive reality?

Does fear play a factor? Why are we so afraid to overcome our fears?

Suffering is necessary - death brings rebirth. Often our suffering is our own way of saving ourselves from a greater pain that we are too vulnerable to confront when it occurs.